The Use of Nudity in my Work
Why Nudity Can Be Part of Healing Work: A Conversation with Kyle Hoffman
Content note: This post includes candid discussion of consent-based, non-sexual touch and body image work involving nudity.
I recently sat down with my colleague Kyle Hoffman of Cuddling and Coaching to talk about something we both bring into our practices with care and intention: nudity as a tool for healing, not an endpoint or a given.
We met through Cuddlist, where I serve as Director of Training, but this conversation is about our private practices, not Cuddlist protocol. Kyle and I wanted to demystify why we sometimes include clothing-optional work, what our process actually looks like, and where the real benefits show up.
It's Never the Starting Point
For both of us, nudity is never where a client relationship begins. Kyle put it well: with many clients, no clothing is ever removed, that's simply not the goal. When it does come up, it's because fully clothed, platonic work has already built a foundation, and a client is asking for something further.
In my own practice, I think of the work in phases. Phase one is clothed and platonic. Phase two is still platonic, but asks a different question: what does it mean to get comfortable in your own skin in front of another witness? Not in a public space, not yet, but one on one, with someone else willing to be vulnerable alongside you.
I don't offer nudity upfront. I wait for a client to name it, usually as "I'd like to work on my body image." From there, we collaborate on what might actually help.
The Body Image Connection
There's real research behind this. Two Psychology Today pieces we reference often make the case that spending time undressed around others, in the right container, can shift how people relate to their own bodies:
Most of us grow up believing that only certain bodies, the airbrushed, curated, "chosen best of 300 photos" kind, are the ones that get to be seen. Kyle and I have both watched that belief loosen in real time when clients experience the opposite: being fully seen, without performance, and finding that nothing bad happens.
I'm a big believer in body neutrality over body positivity. Part of what I offer clients is radical transparency about my own body, including the parts I love and the parts I'm still making peace with. When a client hears exactly what's going on in my head and still says "but I like that part about you," something shifts. They carry that compassion into their next relationship, too.
Consent Comes Before Comfort
Kyle and I both work at the client's pace, never ours. For Kyle, that sometimes unfolds over a single multi-hour session; for others, it takes months. I've had a client in ongoing naked cuddling work for four years. The timeline isn't the point. The client leading it is.
A few things we agree matter most:
Nudity is opt-in, not offered by default. It stays in the toolbox until a client asks.
Arousal isn't a failure state. Close physical contact can be activating, especially for clients who've been out of touch or intimacy for a long time. That's expected, and it's something we work through together, not around.
Platonic means something specific. For me, it means a client shows up with the energy of a friend. I need to feel that the intention matches what I'm offering. A mismatch, wanting more than what's on the table, isn't something I ignore.
We don't pretend bodies away. Genitals get hidden most of the day, most of our lives. Creating space where they can simply be part of a session, acknowledged rather than avoided, is often where real healing happens. One client's body image work centered on making peace with his own body; eventually, he asked if we could simply celebrate it, out loud, without shame.
A Different Kind of Risk Calculus
As a female practitioner, undressing with a male client carries a different risk calculus than it might for Kyle. I need to know someone, and trust their intentions, before that becomes part of the work. Community settings, like clothing-optional workshops, can offer a gentler on-ramp precisely because nudity there is already desexualized and, in Kyle's experience, largely self-policing.
That's also why an initial no-nudity-required conversation matters so much. If someone isn't willing to meet me platonically and clothed first, and build toward anything else at their own pace, it's not a good fit. That's not a judgment. It's a boundary that protects the work.
About Kyle Hoffman
Kyle Hoffman is a cuddle therapist, intimacy coach, and workshop facilitator based in Philadelphia, traveling to see clients including winter sessions in Fort Lauderdale. You can find him at CuddlingAndCoaching.com and on Instagram @cuddlingandcoaching.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is naked cuddling sexual? No. It's a consent-based, non-sexual practice. The goal is comfort, presence, and body acceptance, not arousal, though feelings of arousal aren't treated as a problem when they arise; they're simply worked through with the client, not acted on.
How do you decide if a client is ready for clothing-optional work? It's always client-led. Nudity isn't offered upfront. A client typically names a goal, most often body image, and from there we collaborate on whether and how nudity might support that goal.
Does this replace talk therapy? No. This work is experiential and somatic, and it's often most effective alongside talk therapy with a licensed clinician, not instead of it.
What if I feel embarrassed or aroused during a session? That's expected, especially for people who've been out of touch or intimacy for a while. Close physical contact can be activating. The work is about moving through those feelings safely, not avoiding them or acting on them.
Is this part of a standard Cuddlist session? No. Clothing-optional work is not part of the Cuddlist Code of Conduct. It's an offering within private practice, for established clients, once a strong foundation of trust and consent is in place.
Ready to talk about your own body image work, in a session that moves at your pace? Connect with me at HumanConnectionLab.com.
