Why I Stopped Calling Myself a Surrogate Partner
Yesterday, during an intake call with a client who was searching for surrogate partner therapy, I found myself saying something out loud that has been true for a while:
“One reason I stopped calling myself a surrogate partner is because people with penises couldn’t wrap their head around the idea that the issue was not going to be solved just by me touching their penis.”
It was blunt, but it is the truth.
For years, I was trained and identified as a surrogate partner because it is a recognized modality in the sex therapy world. As an intimacy coach and somatic practitioner, I have worked with many men who experience erectile issues. Over time, I realized that the surrogate partner label often creates the wrong expectations. Many people assume the solution is purely mechanical. They believe the problem area just needs more attention or that a certain kind of healing touch will fix everything.
But real intimacy and healing do not work that way.
If you have knee pain and ignore it, eventually your hip will start hurting too. The body is a system. The same is true for intimacy, connection, and sexual challenges. The symptom is not always the root cause. Lasting healing is about caring for the whole person, not just one body part.
My approach as an intimacy coach is rooted in trauma-informed care and client-centered practices. I create a space for curiosity, self-trust, and genuine connection. I help you listen to your body, understand your patterns, and build new pathways to intimacy. This work is not about fixing anyone, and it is never just about focusing on one part of you.
That is why I now call myself a therapeutic intimacy specialist and somatic practitioner. The work I do in intimacy coaching and healing touch is bigger, deeper, and more meaningful than any one label or any one body part can capture.
If you are ready to explore healing that goes beyond the surface, I am here for it.
Let’s build something brave together.
And, just so you know, he scheduled a session.
You can too. Let’s share a free consulation.
