How to Set Boundaries With Touch Without Shutting Down: A Trauma-Informed Guide for San Diego

How to Set Boundaries With Touch Without Shutting Down: A Trauma-Informed Guide for San Diego

If you’re searching for ways to set boundaries with touch without shutting down, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with feeling safe and empowered when it comes to physical connection, especially after trauma. As a trauma-informed intimacy coach serving the San Diego area , I help clients build confidence and resilience around their boundaries, without losing connection to themselves or others.

Why Boundaries With Touch Matter

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships and personal well-being. They help you feel “safe enough” to engage with others on your own terms. Learning to set boundaries with touch is especially important for trauma survivors or anyone who has felt unsafe in their body.

Common Challenges: Why Do We Shut Down?

Shutting down is a natural response when your nervous system feels overwhelmed. You might freeze, go numb, or feel disconnected. This happens when your body senses a lack of safety or control, which is common if boundaries haven’t been respected in the past.

Practical Steps to Set Boundaries With Touch

  1. Tune Into Your Body: Notice how your body feels in different situations. Are you tense or relaxed? This awareness is the first step to understanding your boundaries.

  2. Practice Saying No: Start small. Practice saying “no” or “not right now” in low-stakes situations. This builds confidence for more challenging moments.

  3. Use Clear Language: Communicate your needs in simple, direct ways. For example, “I’m not comfortable with hugs right now, but I’d love to chat.”

  4. Pause and Check In: If you start to feel overwhelmed, pause and take a breath. It’s okay to step back and reassess what feels right.

  5. Seek Support: Working with a trauma-informed professional can help you practice boundaries in a safe, supportive environment.

Creating a Brave Space for Growth

At Human Connection Lab, my approach is grounded in consent and nervous system regulation. I believe everyone deserves to feel empowered when setting boundaries with touch. Together, we can create a brave space where you are encouraged to honor your needs and move at your own pace.

Ready to Begin?

If you’re in San Diego and want to learn more about setting boundaries with touch, reach out for a free consultation. You deserve to feel safe, connected, and in control of your experience. Visit humanconnectionlab.com to learn more or schedule a session.

Michelle Renee

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a trained surrogate partner and certified Cuddlist practitioner specializing in trauma-informed therapeutic intimacy. As Co-owner and Director of Training at Cuddlist.com and Co-chair of AASECT's Somatic Intimacy Professionals SIG, she helps trauma survivors reclaim safety, connection, and embodied healing through a collaborative triadic model with licensed therapists.

Michelle's work integrates somatic approaches, EMDR-compatible touch therapy, and nervous system regulation to create corrective emotional experiences for clients healing from sexual trauma, attachment wounds, and relational injury.

Host of The Intimacy Lab podcast and founder of Human Connection Lab, Michelle serves clients in across Southern California and in many cities across the US.

https://humanconnectionlab.com
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